You Don’t Need to Come Out

It’s one of the biggest concerns of LGBT+ individuals, especially youth. When will I tell them? How will I tell them?

There is so much pressure from both society and the media to immediately tell everyone that you aren’t straight or cis, as soon as you realize that you aren’t. However, contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to tell anyone if you don’t want to!

Coming out is a personal choice. For most, it’s a journey of accepting yourself, which can be thwarted if those close to you react negatively. People seem to be adamant on going out of their comfort zones and telling everyone they know that they’re different. This can have adverse effects on your social life, which I’m sure plenty of you already know by now.

The point I’m trying to make is that you don’t owe it to anyone to come out. Giving others such personal information is nerve-wracking and, at times can even be dangerous.

So what if your friends and acquaintances don’t know? So what if your relatives only see the closeted side of you? It shouldn’t matter. It shouldn’t matter who you love or what gender you identify as. People shouldn’t have to lose sleep at night, counting the number of ways people will react when they receive the news.

Before you start worrying about coming out to your lab partner, your second cousin, and that acquaintance you only talk to in third period, consider this: you don’t have to unless you really want to tell them. As I said before, you don’t owe it to them, and you certainly aren’t obligated to tell anyone. It can stay a secret if you want it to.


2 Comments Add yours

  1. No one should be pressured. But I’ve never met anyone who regretted coming out, but I’ve met lots of people who have regretted not coming out.


  2. I agree with this. People don’t need a government issued license to love who they want romantically, be it a member of the same or opposite sex. We have so many more pressing matters to be concerned about. Bigotry has no place in civilized society. Its very existence is absurd. What does it matter if 2 people of the same sex want to marry? Some people may by choice elect to come out of the closet. Honestly, it does not matter to me. Now, if I had a son who was gay or a daughter who was a lesbian, all I would tell them is that they should be with whoever makes them happy. Their happiness would be my top priority, not their sexual orientation.


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